Dinner With The President

That's me, with Georgian Senator Saxby Chambliss. This guy received monetary gifts from famed corrupt-lobbyist extraordinaire, Jack Ambramoff. In 2001 he said he wanted to "turn the sheriff loose and arrest every Muslim that crosses the state line." Woo Republicans!

The President's Dinner was the most bizarre display of partisan hackery I have yet witnessed. The reception preceding the dinner consisted of lobbyists hurriedly scurrying around the room trying to hob-nob with as many congressmen as possible, offering effusive praise and worried tsk-tsks about the state of the Republican Party along the way. Everyone eventually got seated at dinner, and the fun began.

Speeches by the Republican leader in the House of Representatives, John Boehner, and the Senate, Mitch McConnell, began the evening. McConnell was particularly strident in his criticism of the Democratic Party. Especially amusing was his claim that the Democrats' vision for the United States is "very different from what the Founders envisioned, and very dangerous." Uh-huh.

I began to look around the room and take stock of those in attendance. I made a quick observation: far more cowboy hats than black people. In fact, I saw three black people all night. The remaining thousand or so attendants were as pasty white as can be. Another observation: short men. Everywhere! It is an interesting phenomenon that short men opt for the Grand Old Party, but I suppose it makes sense.

An old guy with a really long white beard entertained us with country music as our dinner was served, and then an Irishman sang God Bless America. Americans, especially Republicans I've found, get a huge kick out of hearing foreigners (especially Euros) sing God Bless America, the national anthem, or some other patriotic sing-song that affirms America's superiority. It's as if we're saying, see! America IS the Greatest Country on Earth, even the Europeans think so! Republicans love that shit.

Then, George W. Bush himself walked into the room. Everyone stood up and began applauding. I felt sick. A Congressman from Texas introduced the President, and it was then that I realized why Democrats are going to win overwhelming majorities in Congress, as well as take the Presidency, in November - these guys are clueless. The Congressman said, "Before he was elected President, George W. Bush made a solemn promise to uphold the dignity and honor of the office, and he has kept his word!" Yeah, right. The ten minute speech that this Congressman gave was the most ridiculously laudatory speech I have ever heard. How can anyone take the Republicans seriously when they are sucking the dick of a President who has the lowest approval rating of any President in United States history?

Oh, but the kicker from this Congressman: "When all is said and done, and history looks back on this President, people will consider him the Winston Churchill of our generation." I couldn't help but burst out laughing, and the Congressman from Alabama sitting next to me gave me a nasty glare. I mean, are you SERIOUS? You're comparing the guy who won World War II against Adolph Hitler to a mockery of a President who illegally waged a war and LOST against a third world country? Republicans are beyond delusional.

Bush's speech was the expected partisan diatribe against the evil Democrats ruining our country. The interesting thing was, he kept repeating over and over that Republicans would regain majorities in Congress and that John McCain would be our next President. I found this interesting - he's speaking to the most supportive crowd he can possibly muster, and yet it seems as if he's giving a stump speech for Republicans. Why? What's the point? First of all, everyone knows that Republicans aren't going to gain majorities in Congress - there's just no chance. And secondly, everyone there was going to vote Republican anyway. It really seemed like Bush was too lazy to conjure up a speech with anything substantive and decided instead to go with the speech that would get him a lot of applause and let him feel good about himself.

In all, the dinner was both eye-opening and throw-up-in-my-mouth inducing. It also assured to me that the Democrats are going to rout the Republicans in November. Until Republicans can evince themselves of the anti-intellectual partisanship that Americans are sick of, they are going to suffer at the ballot boxes. But hey, as long as they can wear cowboy hats, listen to country music, and decry those evil, liberal, communist Democrats, it's all good. Right?